The wiggle theory

It's quite a story, but I love telling it. I love talking to animals. I'm always chinwagging with a spider, bug or wasp, to name a few. One day, I accidentally dropped some raw honey on my kitchen counter without realising it. Later that day, wasps were covering the honey.

The next day, as I was bustling in the kitchen, a wasp came to me, and we started talking. For some reason, I asked the wasp, "Would you like more honey?" To which a "Yes" was promptly replied, so I dropped a bit of honey on the counter. This sequence repeated for a few days. One day, however, I was in a grumpy mood and running a bit late, and the wasp came to me asking for honey. With my impatience, I said to the wasp, "Not today, I'm grumpy". However, the wasp persisted. Now feeling even more grumpy, I sternly exclaimed, "Not today, I'm late".

As you guessed, the wasp was indifferent to my grumpy mood or lateness and was still in front of me, hovering, wiggling his bum and saying, "Please". I suddenly realised how crazy this was. The wasp was wiggling his bum, and I could literally feel his happy honey energy. It seemed utterly unreal, but it lifted my mood, and in the end, the wasp got some honey.

I didn't think anything further of the crazy situation with the wasp. One day, I was feeding the ducks along the canal when a cheeky male approached me after I'd given that clan food, asking for more. He did the duck lift, like straightening the body upwards, with a wing flap and a wiggle bum - excited movements. I smiled "Oooh, you know exactly how to win me over with your charm", and gave him food.

Then one day, I was in another bugger mood, and my dogs were resting, not interested in moving, but I felt like going for a walk. I stood up with a cheeky grin, bent in half and walked up to the dogs, wiggling my bum - Like an excited dog wiggling the tail, and the dogs got so excited - we were all wiggling our bums.

Later on, during the walk, I realised, like a flash of lightning. If you wiggle your bum, you can't be negative. Then suddenly, all the previous occurrences of a wiggle bum flashed through my mind. And hence, my wiggle bum theory was born. This theory will prove that if you are feeling negative or having a bad day, all you need to do is wiggle your bum, and your mood will lift into a positive one.

I aim to have as many people as possible wiggling their bum daily to prove my theory. Imagine how cool that would be.

Go Back